Monday, 14 July 2014

Real men can’t be stolen

“If some other woman ever steals your man, there’s no better revenge than letting her have him, because real men can’t be stolen.”


This is a very popular quote among women, old and young. I see many buy completely into this very mindset. I know that some men can be stolen by anything. I know that some of them lack what it takes to be a real man. I know that many lack that willpower when it’s about a woman standing in front of them.
But I also know that many real men have been and can be stolen by a real woman or even one that shouldn’t be called a woman. Many people have lost precious gems placed in their hands by God as a result of their own carelessness. Now, let me show you some of those things that can make a real and loving man to be stolen from you by another woman.

Respect

It is now in vogue for women to keep shouting “I love him” more than men who are enjoined by the scriptures to love. It is sad that some men remain blind to these issues until they finally get married to her. There is no better way to love a man than to remain submissive to him. You cannot disrespect a man you love.
When you are truly in love with a man, you will know how and when to talk to him. You will not nag because nagging has never worked anything good in a relationship. I know there are times they get on our nerves and all you can think of is shouting on top of your voice because you believe that will get his attention. Yes, that may get his attention, but it can only be temporary.
If you honour your husband, you will not discuss him with friends and family. It’s annoying to see women sit and discuss their man with friends that cannot offer any good advice. Some of these ladies you call friends are not friends but enemies in disguise. They sometimes carry everything to him in their bid to get you out of the way. Discussing your man with your family will make them lose respect for him. You may forgive and forget when everything is over but your family will not forget. Even with your religious leader, there must be a limit to what you discuss in the name of counseling. Remember, he is a man like your husband and no man enjoys being made an object of discussion.
Another form of respect which we are losing fast in the name of civilization is this issue of women refusing to drop their father’s name when they get married. Some even put it on their face by telling them that nothing and nobody can force them to change their name. Another radical feminist recently wrote on Facebook advising women not to drop their father’s name for that of a stranger (their husband) who will walk away any moment he likes. Reading that post, I saw an angry and frustrated woman looking for people to recruit into her club. Ladies, I don’t know about you, I believe I become one with a man the very moment I get married to him and I must take up his name, even my daughters must be advised to do so. I can understand when some public figures and women who made their name before marriage decide to hyphenate, but when I see those who have nothing to lose refuse to take up a man’s name, I conclude it’s about competition and feminism. Recently, a woman was bragging on Facebook and telling the whole world that her husband doesn’t care about the name she bears. To our utmost bewilderment, the husband appeared and wrote that he is not happy about that but simply keeping quiet to avoid being seen as bossy. This is the truth, he wants to be respected.
Men love very strong women who become weak in their arms. He wants you to be the boss out there; he wants you to conquer your world; he wants you to be on top of situations at work; he wants his wife to be described as a no-nonsense woman by her partners in business. But he wants her to be able to drop all that as she crosses the door into her home. You must become a baby for him.
Don’t forget that submission also has to do with your body. I have heard women boast about how they use sex as punishment on their husband. Do you think it is right for you to starve him of sex until he buys the vehicle you want or gives you the money you want for your business? Is it right for you to deny him of sex each time there is a misunderstanding at home? This is not God’s will for your marriage. There are better ways to get a man to do what you want him to do. Submission is the greatest weapon used by wise women to control their husband.

Care

How do you show him you care? Are you one of those women who, instead of cooking for their husband, buy food on their way home for him? He wants to eat your own food and not the food from that woman out there. Yes, he got a cook because he can afford to hire one but that doesn’t mean his wife shouldn’t ask questions about his meal and serve his meal herself. How do you plan his meals? Are you interested in his health? Do you bother to know what he wants to eat before you cook or you are one of those women who give him beans when he wants yam? A good number of times, they act like these things are not their problem but I can authoritatively tell you that they are. Westernization is good but we shouldn’t throw away our beautiful culture all in the name of westernization.
Every man loves to be made a man and he will always get attracted and closer to that woman who makes him a man.
When you truly love and care for your husband, you will seek his good above your father’s house. It is a very sad trend in today’s world. I know that women are only reacting to their environment. A good number of women have been pushed to the wall and now they believe that they must protect themselves from men. I see women labour so hard with their husband to make it in life only for the same man to abandon them when finally he makes it. I know so many have been maltreated over and over. But I also know that there are still very good men who are ready to make their woman happy. No matter what we go through in life, I am a firm believer that vengeance belongs to God and He will repay.

Never stop praying for your husband’s progress and keep believing that he is not one of those wicked men. Be a real woman, respect and care for him the way you should. Don’t forget the place of prayer in your home. Believe that your husband is a real man who cannot be stolen because he has a real woman by his side. Like the popular saying goes, do your best and leave the rest for God.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

KweenDeplanna Blog: Can I Ever Have My Dream Wedding?

KweenDeplanna Blog: Can I Ever Have My Dream Wedding?:  Millinda's wedding was the bomb!! The decoration was out of this world and oh so glamorous, the food was tasty and the menu wa...

Can I Ever Have My Dream Wedding?


 Millinda's wedding was the bomb!!


The decoration was out of this world and oh so glamorous, the food was tasty and the menu was filled with a variety of meals, the waiters just like the ones you find in posh restaurants in Italy or in a 5star hotel in Paris, Her colour combination was catchy and the best I had seen in a long time. Not Millinda the band, you will think you are in the same room with Marvin Gaye or Luther Vandross. Even Millinda was looking like a goddess. Her hair, makeup, Wedding Dress, nails OMG! She was so gorgeous that it brought a tear or two to my eyes. Little surprise that her wedding turned out so glam and fabulous; Millinda is blessed with parents who are big wigs in the society. 

After experiencing all that, I honestly ask myself the million naira questions; will I ever have such a fairytale wedding?
Can I ever look as gorgeous as she did?
Can my wedding reception decorations be as nice as hers?
Hmm what about food ha! My parents are pensioners and they are both old oh! .

Between my fiancé and I, all we have is N500,000 budgeted for the wedding, there are also other expenses to think of besides the d day. How do I manage all this?
Indeed there is life after all the spending that comes with the wedding, it is understandable that we all have wants and desires especially for that special day but it is also important to plan based on your pocket. Weddings are not meant for the show they have been changed to in Nigeria today. Especially amongst the elites, it has become a competition and an opportunity to show off their wealth. It may be surprising to note that you can have a beautiful wedding with only 500k in Nigeria, without running into debts or putting a dent in your pocket. All you need do is cut down on all the unnecessary stuff by setting your priorities on the important things and STICK TO THE BUDGET!

Planning a wedding is one of the most important tasks a bride or groom will have to handle, even when working with a wedding planner - KweenDeplanna Events. It comes with the excitement, joy and thrills but is also something that can get you worked up and worried if everything about the wedding is not properly taken care of.

In a case where all you have is 500k, many will ask, how can you have a glamorous, stylish and classy wedding that you will remember forever, without milking yourselves dry of funds? Here are few tips on how you can successfully go about it without shooting yourself in the leg. Stick to your budget! : be determined about your budget, do not waiver, a lot of things would look very attractive to you especially after attended some friend’s wedding such as a top musician coming to perform, a mobile bar with all the exotic drinks on display or the beautiful marquee used as the reception. Wait and think it through before you take that loan or do anything on credit. A wedding party is an investment with no gain. If all you have is 500k please stick to it and don't spend a kobo more. Shikena! Minimize your guest list: One of the major factors that determine the budget of a wedding is the number of guests. This plays a crucial role in picking a hall and decoration, the budget for food and drinks, souvenirs and goodie bags (if you have to) and sometimes it even determines the charges of the DJ. If all you have is N500,000 then you need to start plan for properly trimmed guest list of between 50-100 people. You might think I am kidding with the figure I just proposed, but I assure you as long as you don't put up your invite on Facebook or send out any invitations to people you do not plan for it a sure thing. If they are not family members and your closest friends they don't have to be there.

Prioritize and have a realistic checklist: Have a comprehensive checklist on all it takes to have a wedding ceremony. Then set priority based on what gives you joy and will leave pleasant memories years after the wedding party.

You can develop a chart to indicate the percentage of the budget allocated for each item on the list on a scale of 100% :

Venue - 15%
Catering - 18%
Make up - 2%
Photography/Video- 7%
Entertainment - 10%
Brides Wardrobe - 13%
Grooms Wardrobe - 8%
Decoration - 12%
Wedding Rings - 5%
Invitation/Programs - 4%
Miscellaneous - 6%

Do a rough estimate based on the percentage allocated to each item, and this will give you an idea on what to spend on what. In order to achieve this successfully you need to employ the services of an event consultant who will put you through and help out in recommending seasonal and professional vendors, who are flexible enough to work with your budget. A wedding consultant who has being in this wedding business and knows how to play ball, will be able to help out in the proper allocation of your bills. Many blissful couples enter the meat-grinder known as the wedding industry completely unprepared; without research and planning proper within their budgets. Planning a wedding on a 500k budget is perfectly realistic. It should be a rewarding experience that will provide memories for a lifetime.
And for the faint of heart, there is always Plan B: elope!


www.kweendeplanner.com

KweenDeplanna Blog: The Aso-Ebi Girls...

KweenDeplanna Blog: The Aso-Ebi Girls...: Not Only The Brides or Celebrants Steal the Show These Days... Being an Aso-Ebi girl is no joke in Nigeria. You not only have the challe...

Friday, 17 January 2014

The Aso-Ebi Girls...

Not Only The Brides or Celebrants Steal the Show These Days...

Being an Aso-Ebi girl is no joke in Nigeria. You not only have the challenge of keeping up with what is going on with the bride but you mostly have to start looking for your own fashion aso-ebi style because practically every girl comes out incredibly beautiful on the wedding day. If you have been chosen to be an aso-ebi girl, you might be looking to incur a lot of expenses. And for those of you who can relate with me on this, tell us how much you have ever spent or can ever go in being an aso-ebi girl. Here is the honest break down of being an Aso-ebi girl in Naija! Brace Up!








1, The ASO-EBI FABRIC/ MATERIAL

Most brides always go for two colors for their trad and depending on the budget size of the wedding, the aso-ebi fabric chosen by bride could range averagely from N1,500 upwards. This also depends on whether it is VELVET material, (they are different class of velvet- plain velvet or velvet with stones) or BIG LACE ( currently trending). You might be needing about two and half yards for a skirt and top. If you are on a very tight budget or you wish to combine a different fabric to achieve the two colors of the trad, then usually, one yard is okay for a mix match adventure.

2, FASHION STYLIST

After getting the aso-ebi, the next thing is to sew. Your tailor would collect on average from N2,500 to sew a top and skirt. This amount is largely depending on the time required to finish the design, the type of design required ( the more complex design, the more money you spend) and then the type of stylist chosen. Some stylist make dresses from N5,000 upward.

3, BEAUTY MAKEOVER

At most weddings now in Nigeria, as a babe, you cannot arrive looking not professionally made-up. Since almost every Nigerian girl is a make-up addict, you would scarcely see any chic with busy or unkempt eyebrows. 90% of Naija babes come with a full glam make up on the wedding day. Unless you have a friend who is into make-up and who really wish to help, be prepared to part with about N5,000 for a beauty makeover in a studio like MAC, Black-up or MUD. And that is if you provide your own false eye-lash! Yikes!








4, BEADS ACCESSORIES

Some brides demands that her aso-ebi girls accessorize with same jewelry or beads/ bracelet. On average cost, you can get beads from N4,500 ( depends on the quality) upwards including the matching earrings but excluding the bracelet. Most brides are not bang on with this though but some still do. It is wise to get beads in corals or red to use again and again. Wise girls do this.









5, SCARF OR GELE

The gele is normally chosen as well for aso-ebi girls. For example in Tiwa Savage’s wedding, her unique gele had two colors of Fuchsia and Gold designed specifically for her wedding. Gele can start from N1,000 upwards if you do not have that specific color chosen for the wedding. Then aside that, you would need to pay to get the Gele tied for you by a pro unless you can’t be bothered with a skewed looking gele. N1,200 for a nice DISH styled gele.














6, STYLE ACCESSORIES

Your shoes and matching bag is another expense you might be looking to incur. Most girls do have the right shoes already but not matching bags to go with it. These days, you cannot rely on your silver and gold slippers, colors are so in now, most babes would match their blue velvet with a matching blue shoe or color block with any color! Depending on your taste, I’ll say if you must look very good, be ready to spend about N20,000 on average for a fab open slippers and matching bag to go with it.





7, OTHER TID BITS

Nails Fixing, Contact Lens, New Hair/ Weavon, lovely perfume are just some of what you might have to spend on to keep you looking on Point as an Aso-ebi girl.


















































To break it down for the maths in us ( please note, these are prices on average and depending on your area of residence)!!



1, Aso-ebi fabric N2,000 ON AVERAGE

2, Sewing Your Top and Skirt N3,500

3, Beauty Make-over N6,000

4, Beads Accesories N4,500

5, Scarf or Gele N1,000

6, Matching Shoes/ Bag N20,000

7, Others like

– Nail Fixing N2, 500

– New weavon/Braids N5,000 NOT Brazillian

– Contact lense N7,000 ( am not TOO sure on this one!)

TOTAL N53,000

Whooping N53,000 or even more to look your spanking best as an aso-ebi girl. While that is a whole lot for some people, others simply have no problem with it!

How far can you spend to be an Aso-Ebi girl? Tell us!

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